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July 2024

Patriotism = Free Speech
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Lick It Up?
Featured Article

Lick It Up?

Diving into the messy topic of performing post-creampie oral on your partner.

Some women get wildly turned on by the idea of a man eating their snatches after sex. For them, it’s not enough just to feel a guy’s hot load pump their vaginas with cream filling—it’s deeper than all that. These freethinking ladies not only want a man to fill them up with the sticky emission of their ding-dongs, but they also want them to lick up their mess when they’re through. “I think I probably enjoy oral more than any other kind of sex,” Alita, 27, of Saratoga Springs, New York, tells “But it’s extra-hot when a guy goes down on me after [a cream pie].”

When it comes to this messy issue, many—if not most—men tend to balk with revulsion, aghast at the notion of diving into a fleshy bowl of their own manchowder. Nonetheless, many women contend that guys who are willing to do so are a gift from the gawds. The increased sensitivity of their snatches in the post-porking phase, many would argue, serves to intensify oral sex, so if he’s willing to snorkel through a wad of baby batter to ensure that mama gets one of those hellacious aftershock orgasms that tends to happen in the carnal thereafter, well, he should be deemed king of the coital court. “It shows that they’re open-minded and probably don’t have any hang-ups,” contends Tanya, 35. “Men that have fewer hang-ups are usually better in bed.” Another woman, Phoebe, 22, says it’s one of her biggest fantasies to be with a man who isn’t afraid to go muff-diving in the Sea of Spooge. “I want a partner to eat it out of me so bad,” Phoebe declares. “Seriously, call me.”

“Never trust anyone who’s squeamish about their own bodily fluids. It’s a huge red flag, I think.”

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