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April 2024

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Hotel Bar Hanky-Panky
Featured Article

Hotel Bar Hanky-Panky

Throughout the work week, the suits who presumably make things happen are out there attending meetings, power lunches, late lunches, dinner meetings, pressing the flesh with this person and that in hopes of turning another buck into two. By the end of a long day of hobnobbing with the pillars of industry, they are ready to get their knob slobbered. So the business class goes on a hot pursuit for ass, and the hotel bar is where they often hope to find it. It’s ground zero for all the single folks living out of a suitcase, a place to grab a cocktail and spend the evening scoping out the crowd on a quest for a little hotel hanky-panky.

What makes the hotel bar a perfect place to procure some action? Everyone there is secretly looking to do the same. The next time you’re having a drink at one, just take a look around. There are no regulars, everyone is a stranger, and the playing field is quite different from any given neighborhood bar. Everyone drinking in a hotel bar is from out of town, often on business, and after either finding success or having their asses handed to them, they retreat to the hotel bar for a celebratory shot or to drown their sorrows. And in either case, they’re ultimately just looking to get laid by the end of the night. “I’d say a hotel bar is good for meeting people,” Gary, a 51-year-old financial advisor, tells 

“We drank and laughed, and flirted all night. I asked her if she’d like to continue our conversation in my room and she said, ‘No, you’re coming to mine.’”


Gary tells us about a lonely night he spent at a Chicago Hilton, where he opted to unwind at the bar following an industry conference. Between shots of Patrón, he spotted a lovely lady sitting alone at the other end of the room. She was in front of a laptop, taking the occasional sip of red wine. He watched her for a while to make sure no husband-type characters were going to make an appearance and eventually mustered enough tequila-soaked courage to approach. “I walked over to her table and asked if I could buy her a drink and, like something out of a movie, she said, ‘Sugar, you can buy me two,’” he tells us. The woman then proceeded to explain to Gary that her daddy always insisted that it takes two drinks to size a person up. The first drink, she said, got all of the talk-about-the-weather chatter out of the way, while the second, she continued, revealed a person’s true nature. So, by the time he got to round five, Gary felt like he was in like Flynn.

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