Good health to gooners and goonettes! HUSTLERMagazine.com presents a hardcore fitness-forward checklist for porn’s most loyal disciples.
Make no mistake, “getting dumb for porn” is hard work. Such is the dedication of gooners and goonettes, whose near-fanatical devotion to all things porn and the perverse makes the rest of us look like fumbling tourists.
For the uninitiated, “gooning” refers to engaging in extended masturbation sessions, reportedly leading to a trance-like state. As a subculture, gooners live for XXX and express their love for the genre in the form of psychedelic memes and wet, sloppy, hypnotic video compilations. This is more than just a hobby—being a gooner is a way of life.
But you know what they say about too much of a good thing. As all-consuming passions go, sometimes we forget to take care of ourselves. And when we don’t feel good, we don’t enjoy the things that bring us so much happiness.
On that note, we offer the following wellness plan for porn fandom’s battle-weary warriors. Heed these helpful tips to get the gooner edge.
