Does your partner’s silence during sex speak volumes about the amount of pleasure she’s experiencing? Experts and laypeople alike sound off on the topic.
Every man’s erection enters a whole new realm of glass-cutting stiffness once the woman he’s bouncing up and down all over starts screaming, cussing and moaning like a wild yak on her deathbed. Most men process these sounds of seduction to indicate that they’re pushing all the right buttons, a sign that they are giving a stellar performance that’s not soon to be forgotten. The louder she is, the bigger his head gets. It’s almost as though the Gods of Getting Off built females to howl to the heavens during sex to give men the convincing ego boost they need to prove they are, without a shadow of a doubt, the best lay she’s ever had.
Although moaning is often considered an expression of a woman’s pleasure, not all females hoot and holler like a wounded animal—even when their sexual bells are getting thoroughly rung. “I never moan during sex,” 33-year-old Vicki tells HUSTLERMagazine.com. “But then again, I don’t moan when I come by myself.” Sloan, a 36-year-old photography editor from Billings, Montana, claims she isn’t waking the neighbors either. “I never moan,” she says. “It doesn’t mean I’m not enjoying it, but I’m just not that kind of person.”
Still, men have come to expect an elaborate pound-time production. They need women to be loud and boisterous. If a roommate isn’t beating on the bedroom door, telling them to keep it down, then the quality of the sex was subpar, in the guy’s mind. A man wants a chick squealing at decibels that could wake the dead, or else he will probably be overcome with feelings of inadequacy. Or worse, he’ll brush it off as her problem, not his, and turn into a royal asshat. But this loud and proud attitude primarily exists due to the residual poon propaganda that men often buy into after years of sex ed through porn.
Dr. Laurie Mintz, a psychology professor and author of the book Becoming Cliterate, tells HUSTLERMagazine.com that, although some men might take offense if a partner is a low- or no-moaner, it is not a personal attack on their manhood. Contrary to popular opinion, a woman’s bedroom volume is no indication of pleasure or prowess. “Some women are silent, some make quiet sounds, and some scream and moan,” she observes. “There is no one-size-fits-all expression of pleasure. Just like every woman needs a different type of stimulation to reach orgasm, women make different types of sounds.”