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March 2024

Featuring Roxy Shaw
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Going Meatless?
Featured Article

Going Meatless?

Some so-called sex experts have asserted that, since most women don’t climax through penile penetration alone, they should forgo dick entirely. But are straight women really ready to give up their regular dose of Vitamin D?

Spend enough time on social media and it appears that America’s sex educators are trying to phase out the cock. A lot of so-called intimacy coaches have taken to TikTok and Instagram with extreme prejudice, hellbent on spreading the message that women, for the most part, don’t need their regular dose of Vitamin D anymore. They argue that, since only around 18 percent of the female population has the capacity to orgasm through good, old-fashioned intercourse alone, the penis, at least in terms of its ability to provide sexual pleasure, should be rendered obsolete. If a woman wants a real toe-curler—and take it from us, she most definitely does—a slew of sex experts argue that she should forgo the tickle stick altogether and employ substitutions, such as their partner’s tongue and fingers, or an arsenal of get-me-off gadgets.

To guys like me, those who have made it their mission in life to dole out the dick in a manner that keeps them in good standing with the union, the spread of anti-pecker propaganda is, as the kids today would say, a bit cringe. I mean, all of humanity is already at risk of being put out of a job by Artificial Intelligence, and now a small group of academics have taken to the internet to try and convince “vagina owners” that they don’t require a man’s meaty mangler for sex anymore. 

It’s hard, at first, not to see this as a vicious attack by some extremist feminism cult led by the most indignant of the breed, with a doctrine designed to lead the female persuasion by their oppressed clits to full-tilt lesbianism. This is, in any event, what some guys believe to be the charge of the dark side of the feminist movement. “I guess they’re trying to turn them all into carpet-munchers,” posits Scotty Jay, a 45-year-old from Morgantown, West Virginia. 

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