November 2019

Featuring Lana Rhoades

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Get Laid, Not Screwed

We let Sin City’s pros drag us upstairs by our wallets and tell us what to do, what not to do and how much it costs. Do not gamble on that sweet piece of Vegas vag without this quick and dirty cheat sheet in your pocket.

Certain purchases shouldn’t be made on impulse. A house. A car. A big-screen TV. A Vegas prostitute.

When you come home from that drunken conference and your significant other says, “You didn’t get a hooker while you were there, did you?” your bald-faced lie better be worth the trouble. Paying too much money to bang some skank and then having to lie about it is not only going to make you feel like an asshole; it will also enhance your anxiety that any minute it’s going to start burning when you pee.

On the other hand, buying the right hooker can be the stuff that bucket lists are made of. If you’ve got the budget, and do your homework, you can bang a stunningly good-looking woman in the Vale of Vice. We’re talking rock-star grade.

Before we go on, however, it must be stated that all the information in this article is strictly of a theoretical nature. The world’s oldest profession is still technically illegal in Las Vegas, which means Vegas “hooker tips” can only be applicable for a progressive time in the future when this legal status has changed. That also means that the escorts featured in this article—Marie Styles, Anna Marie and Mina Jouet—can currently only offer companionship of a nonsexual nature, i.e., no horizontal boogie. Otherwise, they’d be breaking the law. Get it? Good.

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