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Latest HUSTLER Magazine cover issue
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September 2021

Featuring Michelle Jean
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Eating Ain’t Cheating … or Is It?
Featured Article

Eating Ain’t Cheating … or Is It?

A popular theory has it that going down on someone outside of your relationship doesn’t constitute infidelity. We got people’s tongues wagging about whether they believe that’s true or not.

“Eating ain’t cheating,” the old saying goes. It’s a liberal sexual philosophy that’s expressed in such settings as dark, seedy watering holes. You’ll hear it as soon as some pretty young thang walks by a table of wifed-up dudes as an interlude to their unrelenting hoots and howls. It is a school of thought insisting that it’s perfectly acceptable for anyone in a committed relationship to get a little head from a stranger. The reason it’s cool—or so they say—is because skull-fucking isn’t the kind of intimate, passionate sex where one might cuddle up afterward and open up about their hopes and dreams. Therefore, even though there’s still some hair pulling, gagging and probably even a toe-curling orgasm in there somewhere, giving or receiving oral sex doesn’t technically constitute a disloyalty to the man or woman they have waiting at home.

But is this whole “eating ain’t cheating” logic valid, wishful thinking or simply complete and utter bullshit?

It’s probably a mix of all three, judging from the people we spoke to about the topic. David, a 52-year-old ironworker from Sebree, Kentucky, says the ethos behind eating ain’t cheating is relatively solid. After all, it is fully endorsed by the U.S. presidency. “Hey, it worked for Bill Clinton,” he says. 

Photo by Larry Flynt Productions

“I don’t think getting a blowjob is that big of a deal. It just doesn’t resonate as intimate. But then again, I probably wouldn’t be too happy to learn that my wife is getting eaten out by other guys when she hits the town without me.”

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