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December 2022

Jazlyn Ray
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Distressed by Her Dress?
Featured Article

Distressed by Her Dress?

Worried that your girl dresses too provocatively when she’s at work or out on the town? Here’s why you should put your ego in check and stop stressing about her wardrobe.

One of the leading complaints men often have about their relationships with women is that they dress far too sexy for the outside world. They’re going to the office, the store, the gym—anywhere and everywhere—wearing skimpy, revealing attire that will surely garner the drooling attention of horndog society. Although the ladies claim they’re not trying to give strangers a beaver-bashing boner with a display of foxy fashion, they insist on leaving the house every day looking like a runway model. And it’s driving some dudes crazy!

As progressive as the male persuasion would like to think it is at this point—some of us are trying, ladies; really, we are—a lot of men still aren’t keen on their girl being gawked at by other guys. They don’t want a pack of pussy-hungry hard-ons ogling their little love muffin, engaging in locker room banter like a bunch of hairy Republicans. And they damn sure don’t want them jerking off to her image when they hit the showers. Fuck that, they would rather die.

These poor bastards would get down on bended knee and thank their saviors if their lady would just put on a damn pair of sweatpants for a change—nothing to see here, folks! They wish their partners would cease and desist with their eye-catching styles, as they suspect that it only serves to grab the attention of other men and tempt them down a spread-legged path paved in cocks and infidelity. 

“I have an ex that complained that I dressed ‘too sexy’ when I went to work. He wanted me in a ball cap, sweatshirt and casual jeans every day. I wanted to wear tank tops, dresses and shorts. I wasn’t on the prowl; I just wanted to look cute. We didn’t last very long. Now I wear whatever fabulous outfits I want.”

Cindy

“All you have to do is look at TikTok videos to see that’s what women do. Seek attention,” Jonathan, a 25-year-old man from Farmingdale, Maine, grouses to HUSTLERMagazine.com. “They do it for likes and comments on social media and they do it for likes in real life. Any man who doesn’t see that is an idiot.” 

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