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May 2024

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Dirty Dying Wishes
Featured Article

Dirty Dying Wishes

If your terminally ill partner’s final request involves boning someone else, are you obligated to honor it?

There have been a couple of stories circulating on the internet recently about monogamous couples in relationship-ending peril because of someone’s dying wish. One account focuses on a terminally ill woman, given only nine months to live, who allegedly asked her husband if she could have sex with one of her exes because he was evidently the most “physically compatible lover” she’s ever had. The husband, naturally, was none too pleased to learn that not only did his wife have one foot in the grave, but she wanted someone else between her legs. After all, even if death was lurking, how could she think of betraying their sacred bond in order to sleep with someone from her past? The man admitted to feeling compelled to honor her request, conceding, “I feel like I’m put in a position where I have to say yes because she’s dying.”

The second tale was authored by a woman who claims she is peeved beyond belief over the fact that her boyfriend boned his terminally ill friend simply because she didn’t want to die a virgin. It wasn’t like he asked his girlfriend for permission to deflower this woman before she was covered with dirt, nor did he reveal at any point that he had diddled the dying. She found out through another friend. The boyfriend eventually confirmed that it was true. Now, overcome with emotions, his girlfriend wholeheartedly believes that boning half-dead pussy is still cheating. “I feel jealous, and I don’t know what to do,” she lamented.

Everyone, aside from the coldest-hearted among us, sympathizes with the dying and hopes that they transition to the Great Beyond with their final wishes fulfilled. Nevertheless, monogamous minds aren’t too keen on entertaining a breach in fidelity just because the Grim Reaper is pounding at their spouse’s door. They took vows, damnit! It’s in sickness and in health, till death do us part. “No way that would fly with me,” Wayne, 46, from Little Rock, Arkansas, tells “We committed to each other 15 years ago before God. That’s an unreasonable request.” Sheila from Terre Haute, Indiana, agrees. “My dying husband better die on top of me and not anybody else,” she declares.

“If I thought it would bring her true happiness, I’d struggle to tell my fiancée ‘no’ if it was her dying wish. Some people want to skydive, some want to drive a fast car and some just want a little bit of strange.”

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