Bits & Pieces

Articles with unfiltered opinions

Cartoons

Illustrated monthly funnies

Jokes

Dirty jokes for your dirty mind

Parodies

Unapologetic political satire

close slideout
Latest HUSTLER Magazine cover issue
Magazine new arrow

June 2024

Misha Cross and Agatha Vega
Join HUSTLER Magazine trial promo image

Intro Offer:
3 days for only $0.99!

Dick on Deck
Featured Article

Dick on Deck

Yes, there’s a pretty good chance that your woman already has another guy in mind to take your place if your relationship goes south. The good news is, there are ways to prevent things from getting to that point.

Any man who’s been hitched to a significant other for a while may reside in a calm sense of nookie nirvana, a place where contentment and comfort have collided, giving him the impression that nobody out there, not even the most handsome man in the land, could ever swoop in and steal the missus away from him. Presumably, inhabiting this spot in the pooniverse is the reason he’s already made peace with his latest beer gut expansion, passed on providing any assistance around the house and neglected wifey’s desire for orgasms, like nine times out of ten. But this man dwells in a false sense of security. Because the missus, as much as she might act like she’s there to stay, likely has a backup beau in mind just in case she gets sick of hubby’s shit and decides it’s time another man gets a shot.

Scientists made a shocking revelation a few years back that may be a real kick in the balls for any man who’s convinced that his old lady ain’t ever going anywhere. Their study concluded that 50 percent of women (yes, boys, that’s half) have a solid contingency plan in place just in case their current relationship goes up in flames. Yes sir, they’ve already identified the emergency exits, charted out an escape route and, well, it leads straight to the hose of another dude. Just ask Desiree of Indianapolis, Indiana. She tells HUSTLERMagazine.com that the findings are at least somewhat true. In her case, however, she didn’t always have a backup in the wings. It was only “after he started acting like an ass,” she says, that she compiled a list of potential replacements.

“You need options,” Desiree declares.

To Access the Full Story

Unlock all articles, full galleries and digital magazines – 3 days for only $1.35.