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July 2024

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Dear Virgin Me
Featured Article

Dear Virgin Me

Men and women share the things they wish they could have told themselves before they started having sex.

In the 1985 cinematic classic Back to the Future, Marty McFly traveled to the past and almost hooked up with his mom. While most people would not do that with their special time-travel opportunity, the ability to go back in time raises one interesting sex question: What advice would you give yourself before you lost your virginity?

“I don’t remember ever being taught sex ed in school,” John, 27, tells “I knew nothing about sex, except for what I saw in porn. The first time I had sex, I was surprised to see a big bush. I thought everyone would be shaved. So I guess I’d tell my younger self that girls don’t look like what you see on the internet.”

Studies have shown that many teens learn about sex through porn, and one reason for this is that many schools are not offering sufficient sex education. A recent study in the Journal of Adolescent Health showed that, when sex education is offered, girls and boys were given different instructions, and that waiting until marriage was still emphasized, especially in religious settings. 

“I was raised Protestant in the Midwest, so for much of my adolescence, I assumed I’d save myself for marriage. That’s what Baby Jesus wants, right?” social psychologist Dr. Melanie LaForce tells “We didn’t speak very openly about sex in my family, but my parents did get me the iconic nude educational cartoon book called What’s Happening to Me? My school also offered sex education in the form of an old white man flipping through awkward diagrams and making dad jokes. And this was lucky! Many public schools focused on abstinence-only sex education, which has been largely proven to be ineffective at preventing unwanted pregnancy and STIs.”

“I lost my virginity to another virgin. She bled on my dick, and I was really turned off by it. A little scared, too. She was embarrassed also, and thought she had started her period. We were really young and stupid.”

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