Vows of chastity aside, nuns are human beings and have the same desires as the rest of us. We explore the complicated connection between sex and the sisterhood.
Holy shit! According to reports, Pope Francis has urged nuns and priests all over the globe to delete the porn off their cell phones to, as he put it during a recent speech in Rome, ward against “temptation in your hand.”
Evidently, jerking off isn’t allowed on God’s time. Nevertheless, it’s tough to argue that those sworn to celibacy in service of the Almighty aren’t just as twitchy below the cincture as us godless civilians. The only problem is that most of these ministerial minions aren’t—ahem—getting nun. They reside in the eternal dry spell, the real second circle of Hell. Polishing the bishop is their only chance most days for bringing about the first and second coming.
But to take it a step further, if a little smut in the convent is that much of a concern for the Vatican, nuns might be more sexually charged than we’ve been led to believe. Hell, they might even be easy! At a bare minimum, they might be a little less effortless to bag than the masses of less chaste women accustomed to getting propositioned everywhere they go. It’s possible that the whole of horndog society has been missing out on a huge opportunity to knock the dust off Sister Mary’s magnificent muff simply because we’ve been raised to believe that these so-called brides of Christ are off-limits. And as it turns out, there’s no shortage of guys who’d like to poke Mother Superior right in the posterior.
“I’d fuck the snot out of a nun,” Benny, a 47-year-old from Nampa, Idaho, tells HUSTERMagazine.com. Much like a lot of kids brought up in rural, god-fearing parts of the country, Benny spent his formative years attending Catholic school where sisters were responsible for the bulk of the teaching. It was only natural that some of Benny’s first sexual fantasies involved the women he was around the most. “There was this one in eighth grade, I think her name was Sister Mary Leona, she had the biggest tits I‘d ever seen,” Benny recalls. “My dick got hard every time she’d lean over my desk to help me with my work. I jerked off a lot thinking about that one.”
Benny admits that his first lust had a lingering effect on him that remains to this day. “She’d be like 120 years old now, but I’d smash any nun that had a body like she did,” he admits. “I guess I’m going to hell now.”
