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November 2024

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Interstellar Intercourse: Sex on Mars Won’t Be Easy

As scientists explore the possibility of creating human colonies on the Red Planet, we look at the many challenges of boning on the fourth rock from the sun. One day, the aliens are going to show up on Earth and find nothing but a burned-up sign on the White House lawn that reads, “We fucked...

Summer of Lust?

With the COVID vaccine rolling out, a sex-starved populace could very well be humping up a storm by July. But what will it really take to get back to fucking normal? Trying to get laid was rough business last year. The lockdowns imposed to combat the spread of the dreaded COVID-19 virus and the gnawing...

Whacking Off the Wine Flu

Can masturbation really cure a hangover after a night of overindulging? “I like drinking, but drinking doesn’t like me.” —Some poor bastard. Next to rolling around naked with someone who makes your pecker flutter like a coked-up butterfly, getting drunk is one of the greatest pleasures in life. It helps people find toleration amid the...