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April 2024

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Ass-Eaters Anonymous
Featured Article

Ass-Eaters Anonymous

Exploring the pleasures and perils of anilingus.

There are two types of people among the lecherous and the dissolute: the ones who eat ass, and those who’ll never understand why anyone in their right mind would touch the nucleus of somebody’s tuchus with their tongue. It’s an ass war, some would argue, that separates the animalistic from the cautiously lame, the meek from the wild-eyed tongue-slingers. The killjoys who don’t understand the pleasures of having dinner down at the Cornhole Cafe call it a disgusting habit, akin to making out with sewer rats. Some naysayers contend that the act can spawn a variety of gnarly diseases, some of which we don’t even know about yet. Others merely believe that going in for a taste test of somebody’s tail end probably won’t sit well on their palates. In either case, they’re not having it. “I’ll never understand why anyone would put their mouth where someone does a number two,” Dannion, a 41-year-old from Cape Girardeau, Missouri, tells HUSTLERMagazine.com. “That’s gross.”

“As long as it’s clean, there aren’t any concerns. Unless it just came off the toilet, it just tastes like skin. All you have to do is wash down there with soap and water, like take a shower and do it there. I’ve had my asshole eaten out a bunch, and no one’s died from it yet.”

Catherine

Those with a penchant for worming their tongues halfway up somebody’s ass contend that the chowing down at the Browneye Bar and Grill is only perilous if insufficient hygiene is involved. “As long as it’s clean, there aren’t any concerns,” Catherine, 38, tells us. “Unless it just came off the toilet, it just tastes like skin. All you have to do is wash down there with soap and water, like take a shower and do it there. I’ve had my asshole eaten out a bunch, and no one’s died from it yet.”

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