December 2019

Featuring Scarlett Sage

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#AskMissy: Buttholes Are Funny

HUMOR. SEX. THE TWO RARELY GO HAND IN HAND—UNLESS YOU KICK YOUR PARTNER IN THE FACE WHILE SWITCHING POSITIONS. I TRY TO FIND THE HUMOR IN EVERYTHING. ENTERING THE ADULT INDUSTRY NINE YEARS AGO WAS NO EXCEPTION. FOR THOSE OF YOU UNFAMILIAR WITH ME (SHAME ON YOU, FIRST OF ALL), I’M VERY ACTIVE ON THE POPULAR SOCIAL MEDIA SITES TWITTER AND INSTAGRAM. I PEPPER IN NUDES, SCENE IMAGES AND PROMOTIONS BETWEEN SOCIAL COMMENTARY, JOKES AND MAKING FUN OF CELEBRITIES. I ALSO TWEET ABOUT MY ASSHOLE.


Social media has opened me up to a wider fan base and given me the opportunity to share my comedy and naked body with millions of people across the globe. I’ve always liked to make others laugh, even as a small child. Then five years ago I started doing stand-up at the world-famous Comedy Store on Sunset Boulevard. I was taken under the wing of comedians Brian Redban and Tony Hinchcliffe on the weekly variety show Kill Tony. Stand-up is intimidating to tackle. It’s so very personal and is honestly the most naked I have ever felt.

As an adult entertainer, I get asked the same questions over and over again. I don’t think it’s because people lack creativity. It’s more of an intimidation factor. Most folks’ only interaction with porn stars happens in the comfort of their own home and is one-sided, with their genitals in one hand and a porn mag or computer mouse in the other. My goal is to help humanize adult performers and show our lives outside of being penetrated. Countless performers have a fabulous sense of humor, sarcastic tendencies and are just full of surprises. So instead of answering questions simply and honestly, with vanilla answers, I have a little fun and throw people for a loop. I often play into porn star stereotypes to illustrate how absurd those perceptions and preconceived notions of sex workers are. Archaic views include those that most adult stars are drug addicts, were molested, have indiscriminate sex 24 hours a day and are disease-ridden. Here are some examples of the questions most commonly asked to performers, along with my not-so-common answers:

What’s your favorite cock size?
If your dick isn’t 100 inches, you don’t deserve to have sex.

What’s your favorite sex position?
On my side, asleep, while you jerk off into your hand.

Who’s your ideal dream man?
A wealthy drug dealer.

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