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Latest HUSTLER Magazine cover issue
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June 2024

Misha Cross and Agatha Vega
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All Pussies Are Pretty!
Featured Article

All Pussies Are Pretty!

Never mind the labiaplasty—your vaginas look great just the way they are, ladies! Read on as we explain how every snatch is beautiful in its own way.

Pussy comes in all shapes and sizes—and apparently, for some people, that’s a problem. Come to find out, women are just as sensitive about the appearance of their snatches as guys are about the size of their peckers. Statistics show that well over 100,000 cosmetic cooter surgeries are done every year across the globe—about 13,000 in the United States alone. These procedures, including labiaplasty and vaginoplasty, are often done to improve a woman’s sex life. Meanwhile, believe it or not, others are done purely in pursuit of a fashionable gash.

That’s right, women are going under the knife simply because they think their poon isn’t pretty enough. They’ve taken a gander in a mirror a time or two and think their cooch looks like deli meat. But who are they trying to impress, anyway? Surely, not us guys. After all, men aren’t known for being all that finicky when it comes to, well, pretty much anything, much less the warm, wet holes offered up by the ladies for their pound-time pleasure. So, what gives some women the idea that their pussies are aesthetically inferior?

Evidently, ahem, men did. In some cases, anyway.

“I had the inside done before everyone did, and it was an easy, quick surgery,” Lynn, a 38-year-old staff coordinator from Hartselle, Alabama, tells “I did it when it was more invasive than it is now. That was because of years of verbal abuse from a drunk husband. Words hurt.”

Photo by Davide Esposito

Of course, not all guys are boozehound dipshits with a little-wiener complex who feel the need to berate their significant others to compensate for their impending impotence. The truth is, most men do not give a single, screaming shit about how stylish a woman keeps her cooze. We’re fans, first and foremost. Most of us are just happy to be here! No semi-civilized male is ever going to put much, if any, focus on aesthetics. If they do, like Lynn’s ex, mental health experts say their propensity for dishing out shame and degradation has more to do with their own raging dickholeness and tiny balls than the glamour of her clam.

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