Bits & Pieces

Articles with unfiltered opinions

Cartoons

Illustrated monthly funnies

Jokes

Dirty jokes for your dirty mind

Parodies

Unapologetic political sattire

close slideout
Latest HUSTLER Magazine cover issue
Magazine new arrow

October 2021

Join HUSTLER Magazine trial promo image

Intro Offer:
3 days for only $1.35!

Humor

Jokes

Dirty jokes for your dirty mind

Back to Humor

On an elderly couple’s 50th anniversary, Irene found the negligee she wore on their wedding night and put it on. She went to her husband Butch and asked the retired Marine, “Honey, remember this?”

Butch looked up from his newspaper and replied, “Yes, dear, I do. You wore that negligee the night we were married.”

“Yes, that’s right. Do you remember what you said to me that night?”

He nodded. “I said, ‘Oh, baby, I’m going to suck the life out of those boobs and screw your brains out.'”

Irene giggled. “That’s exactly what you said. So now it’s 50 years later, and I’m in the same negligee. What do you have to say tonight?”

Butch looked Irene up and down. “Mission accomplished.”

Al walked into the living room and saw his girlfriend watching a cooking show. “Why are you watching that?” he asked. “You can’t cook!”

“Well,” she replied, “you watch porn.”

There was a young girl
named Mariah,
who succumbed to
her lover’s desire.
She said, “It’s a sin,
but now that it’s in,
could you shove it
a few inches higher?”