Do you have trouble telling when someone is into you or if they’re just being friendly? You’re far from alone. Fortunately, we have some pointers on how to keep those signals uncrossed.
Every guy has had one of those moments when, from out of nowhere, a nice young lady engages him in conversation. She might compliment his shirt, the book he’s reading or just give him a little ribbing over what it’s like to be a full-grown man who drinks low-calorie seltzer—and in public, no less.
The male brain, however, often doesn’t know what to do with these chance encounters. The truth is, most guys see a girl being nice to them and automatically think that it’s her way of letting him know that she’s down to pound. It’s like our brains are directly connected to our dicks, so when a woman flashes a smile or offers any other friendly gesture, an alarm sounds off in a manner that screams, “Yo, dude, she wants that dick, so go ahead and buy her a drink.” A lot of times, however, that may be the wrong move. Science finds that men tend to misjudge these friendly exchanges.
“I think it’s just part of some women’s personality to flirt a little with the guys. That doesn’t necessarily mean they’re interested in them.”
Madi
Several years ago, a study published in the Journal of Psychological Science found that men regularly mistake a woman’s kindness for flirting. Researchers assert that guys are liable to misread a woman’s body language and facial expressions, which make it difficult to decipher whether she wants to fuck his brains out or whether she’s just being cordial. Which lines up with what David, 41, of Saginaw, Michigan, tells us. “I’ll admit, I can’t tell anymore,” David says of his inability to properly judge his interactions with women.
David isn’t alone. Around 70% of college-age women report men misconstruing their friendliness for flirting, according to data from Indiana University’s Department of Psychological and Brain Sciences. Contrary to popular opinion, however, researchers responsible for the Journal of Psychological Science study say that men aren’t being sleazy bastards by over-sexualizing these situations; they’re simply misinterpreting signals. Further complicating matters is the fact that the confusion goes both ways—yep, it turns out that even when a lady’s approach is in pursuit of sex, men often decode it as merely a friendly engagement, which leads to missed opportunities. This cruel result of crossed signals naturally sticks in some guys’ craws.
