THERE’S MORE TO MASTER MOJO THAN FLASHY MOVES, PROPER PROTOCOL AND POLITICALLY CORRECT POSTURING. HERE’S HOW TO BRING YOUR A-GAME TO THE DUNGEON.
There may not be one true way to be an effective and desirable dominant partner to an intelligent submissive woman with fantasies and designs of her own, but there are a lot of false ones. I know because I’ve seen them in action and swept up the broken glass afterward.
I’m just going to start from my own experience and the ideas it’s produced and extrapolate from there. If you don’t like it, send me a letter (c/o [email protected]).
In those first moments with a prospect, the most important question in my mind is: “Fuck or pass?” Most often I later find that it was the same question in hers. I know there are those who insist their BDSM isn’t about sex. It’s about: a) spiritual growth; b) rebalancing gender roles as the Almighty intended; c) helping to overcome the pain of early trauma by exorcising it through direct confrontation. I’ll stick to volcanic kink-sex as a motivation, thank you very much, and I won’t hesitate to recommend that others at least give that motivation a try.
So, granting that my potential playmate is after the same thing I am, namely an orgasm that shows on the Richter scale at Caltech, how do we get down to that? I’ve found the best way to go about it is to ask directly. Ask what she’s tried, what she likes and what she doesn’t like. Ask what she thinks she might like if she did try it. In this context it’s not rude to pry into another’s fantasy life; it’s rude to fail to do so.