November 2019

Featuring Lana Rhoades

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Stage Fright: Notes From a Fan Blowbang

MASKED MEN LOUNGE AROUND THE LOBBY OF THE EROTIC HERITAGE MUSEUM IN LAS VEGAS. TWO LUCHADORES STAND LIKE BODYGUARDS ON EITHER SIDE OF A MANNEQUIN MADE TO RESEMBLE DONALD TRUMP. A MIDDLE-AGED LONE RANGER RECLINES ON A ROMANESQUE BED SURROUNDED BY ENORMOUS STONE PHALLUSES AS BEDPOSTS. A MAN IN A SKI MASK AND ANOTHER MAN WITH A BLACK SHIRT WRAPPED AROUND HIS HEAD LIKE A NINJA SIT CHATTING AT A COCKTAIL TABLE, WHILE A BIKER WITH A BANDANA TIED OVER HIS FACE BANK ROBBER-STYLE PERUSES A SHELF OF BOOKS ON FEMINIST THEORY. NOT EVERYONE CONCEALS THEIR IDENTITY. SOME SIT QUIETLY, CLOAKED IN THE ANONYMITY OF NORMALCY. NONE OF THESE MEN ARE HERE TO PLOT AN OCEAN’S 11-STYLE HEIST, NOR TO PARTICIPATE IN A 12-STEP PROGRAM FOR MASKED VIGILANTES PAST THEIR PRIME. THEY ARE HERE TO BE FILMED GETTING BLOWJOBS.


The museum sits in the shadow of the Las Vegas Strip. The resorts are filled with spring-breakers flocking to pool clubs and gamblers filling the casino’s sports books to bet on the March Madness tournament. Months before, porn performers Carmen Valentina and Lauren Phillips made a bet that they would perform oral sex on all of their Twitter followers if the Patriots won Super Bowl LI. This group of 30 or so men are the only guys out of the women’s combined 400K followers who came to Vegas to collect their winnings.

Other adult stars who webcam have made similar wagers as a means of causing a media stir and attracting Twitter followers. Sara Jay and Siri hosted a fan blowbang in Vegas after Germany won the 2014 World Cup. Today’s event, however, has drawn nearly twice as many participants as any previous #TeamBJ shoot.

A bearded production manager rattles off the stage names the fans listed on their video release forms: “Peter Small, Mario from California, John B…”

One by one the men stand and file into the museum’s small theater. Red velvet curtains surround the interior of the auditorium, which hosts readings from sexperts, lectures from sex workers and a show called Puppetry of the Penis. Today the space looks like a Vegas wedding chapel prepped for a themed ceremony.

The production manager lines up the men in rows according to the order they will receive blowjobs. Subscribers to Carmen and Lauren’s websites are positioned earlier in the ranking. I sit in the last row with my notepad. Nervous excitement sizzles through the room like the hum of stage lights.

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