Want to know if a potential new partner is a worthy mate or a nightmare in the making? Never mind the dinner dates and chitchat over drinks—a session in the sack will tell you what you need to know.
When it comes to dating, the tried and true “find out if they’re the one” guidebook tells women to hold out for three dates before having sex, a year before sharing a lease and a couple more years before agreeing to marriage. But it’s that so-called three-date rule that dominates the early vetting process. It’s the belief that you should spend a few dinners and drinks getting to know each other before deciding whether someone’s worthy of exchanging bodily fluids. Yet it’s actually the sex itself that tends to expose far more than any of these social affairs ever could.
Sure, it might be easy for a new partner to be on their best behavior during those half-priced apps and a round of margaritas, but with the advent of the performative male, or just an insecure man trying to put his best cock forward, there is undoubtedly a lot of posturing that goes into those initial dates. It’s when he’s fully erect, some argue, that a woman can see precisely what the guy is all about, for better or worse.
No, not because of the size of that damn thing. It’s the sex itself that reveals all. At the beginning of a relationship, screwing has a way of blowing the doors off whatever carefully curated persona someone brings to the first few dates. Politeness toward the Applebee’s wait staff cannot negate pure animal lust. Once the pants drop, the truth usually does too. In those moments, people accidentally broadcast their insecurities, their ego trips, their unresolved trauma or the kind of behavioral red flags that can tank a relationship before it starts. Maybe the guy who seemed gracious and charming over dinner turns into a hollow shell of a bedroom boor; emotionally vacant, disconnected and clearly scheming to bolt upon the rapid release of his orgasm. Sometimes, in rare cases, this sort of experience might make the nice lady wonder if she’s bedded down with a stark-raving mad serial killer. “They say all the right things but are purely mechanical in bed,” Krystal, 34, tells HUSTLERMagazine.com. “There’s absolutely nothing else there.”
