According to a new study, our sexual sprint sessions are getting briefer by the year. We explore the long and the short of it.
Everyone loves a quickie. It’s the one sexual occasion that eliminates the pressure of engaging in multiple compromising positions in favor of getting down to brass tacks and making two people come in 30 minutes or less. (Usually less. Much less.) Quickies can happen in the morning before getting up to face the day, at lunch over a pastrami on rye, or in the closet of a laundromat waiting for the clothes to dry. To expeditiously bone in the time it takes to heat a Hot Pocket in the microwave is a thing of beauty, arguably the rawest expression of lust imaginable. It could be argued, too, that it’s the way nature intended. After all, you don’t see alley cats banging for an hour and a half. Nope, Mr. Tom mounts, the queen hisses and howls, and five seconds later they’re running around the neighborhood looking for something to eat.
Perhaps humping humanity has caught on to the ways of the feral feline. A new report suggests that the celebrated quickie is getting quicker. The dating site Illicit Encounters recently found that while a quickie in 2023 took two and a half minutes, last year, it was down to two minutes flat. According to the data, at its lengthiest, this nimble nookie isn’t going much past five minutes these days, not even when it is done in the evening hours following a few beers, like the gawds of getting it on intended.
In search of further enlightenment, we hit the streets (or at least the internet). The people we spoke to say that estimate sounds about right. “A quickie should always be less than ten minutes,” April of Brooklyn, New York, tells HUSTLERMagazine.com. Meanwhile, hurried humpers elsewhere contend that a quickie should always be way less than that. “Ten minutes?” scoffs Claire, 34. “That’s about what sex normally lasts with most guys. I was thinking more like three minutes, tops.”
