Dreading the idea of returning to the office after an extended period of work-from-home? Maybe you shouldn’t be—because your office just might be filled with newly horny coworkers.
During the COVID-19 lockdowns, many people made working remotely the norm. This was a tremendous benefit for working stiffs, seeing as they never really wanted to be in the office to begin with. It meant they could get drunk most days before lunch and jerk off as many times as they wanted without the boss riding their asses about it.
Sadly, a growing number of employers have since sought to herd their workers back into the office, where they can keep an eye on them. According to some job recruiter sites, nearly 90% of businesses will have dragged their employees back to the office in 2024. While this return to headquarters might disappoint those homebodies accustomed to wearing their semen-crusted pajamas to file those pesky TPS reports, returning to the office is a huge benefit for those looking for love at the copy machine.
A recent study from DatingNews.com found that most of the female population who have gone back to the office are hornier than they were just four years ago, when a gnarly bug coerced them to hide away in their homes like J.D. Salinger. Post-lockdown, roughly 46% of Americans reported being primed for porking since returning to their brick-and-mortar workplace. Yet, some are more randy than others. It’s namely the younger femmes—those of Gen Z—who have apparently experienced the most notable increase in their sex drives since companies began to corral their employees back to the workplace. Yep, the water cooler is no longer the wettest thing in the office. Nearly 60% of women between the ages of 18 and 27 are looking to get those pencil-pushing pussies pounded at some point during the day.
For those of you sleazy bastards reading this fine piece of journalistic jibber-jabber from the confines of a drab cubicle, this news, of course, means that the libidos of the young ladies you’re working around are off the charts. Doing a spreadsheet has taken on a whole new meaning, and it might even leave a wet spot. Some of the men we talked to about the study wondered if a more carnally charged company might be a way to extend their benefits package to stay competitive. “I’d give up some of my vacation time for that,” Kevin, 31, tells HUSTLERMagazine.com.
