Sure, with summer upon us, the idea of a poke in the pool or the pond might sound tempting, but beware—there are many perils to underwater sex.
Summer means different things to different people. For some, it’s family vacations to Disneyland in pursuit of making memories for little Jimmy and Sally. And then there are the single folks who will spend the next several months loitering around the nearest body of water, sipping cocktails and, above all else, looking for love. These water-logged beasts liken summer to the P-A-R-T-Y, and they will be out in full force during the sultry season, letting it all hang loose in pools, lakes, rivers, oceans and even streams, living it up, getting drunk on sunshine and beer, sacrificing one brain cell after another for a random shot at some tail. Yep, sex is a big part of aquatic culture. Hey, you didn’t think they were in it for the exercise now, did you?
The prospect of having sex is the only reason most of us ever leave the house, so if someone starts packing coolers, hitching boats to trailers, traveling and putting forth more effort than they do any other time of year, it’s because they believe that their chances of getting laid are exponentially greater near the water. I’m going to give it to you straight: This is a pretty shrewd ideology. Science shows that summer ripens humanity for sex. The heat of the sun gets those hormones raging. Factor alcohol into the mix, and areas where bunches of people are gathered around the lagoon seem to provide the greatest opportunity for men to get their dicks wet—and not just from the reservoir, either. Hell, even if you happen to be attending one of those lakeside Baptisms, don’t discount the porking possibilities.
“I bought a pontoon boat several years back and it’s more than paid for itself,” Tim, a 47-year-old from Indiana, tells HUSTLERMagazine.com. “Me and my buddies take it out to one of the lakes around here almost every weekend, and there’s always women. It’s like a social club. We float around the party coves talking to all of them, drinking, and yeah, sometimes you get lucky.”
