Want to be a real hit in the bedroom? Bone up with this primer on spanking, paddles, whips and crops.
I like a kink with varying degrees of difficulty: that way, it can be new and exciting or easy and reliable, and there’s always room to level up. Impact play (hitting or striking someone with your hands or other implements) is great for this. Even folks who hang out on the vanilla end of the spectrum most likely have some experience giving a well-timed ass-slap or two. But oh, there’s so much more you can do!
Let’s begin with hand spanking. To warm up your partner, practice your aim and make a super-satisfying sound, start by cupping your hands to create some space between your palms and their backside. After some blood has rushed to the area and you get your bearings, you can switch to more of a flat-handed slap. If you’re trying something new that can cause pain, do a test of your partner’s tolerance by slowly upping the intensity of your strikes and asking her to rate them on a 1-10 scale. This will help you agree on a range to stay within—but since it’s not a perfect science and tolerance can change, you should always have a safe word.
Spanking can be done in all kinds of positions: during doggy-style, or with her lying over your knee, or standing with her hands against the wall, or restrained with handcuffs. Megan, a 33-year-old woman, counts spanking as one of her favorite activities: “I love how impact play can bring you right into the moment. My anxiety can be loud, but when I’m receiving a good spanking, I can’t think about anything other than the here and now.”
