Exploring the erotic appeal of America’s First Ladies through our nation’s history.
Throughout the history of our nation, the First Lady has been framed as a symbol of national dignity—which is interesting, considering how many Americans have likely wondered which of them has hit her head the most on the headboard in the White House. These women are meant to embody restraint, elegance and moral fortitude, and yet there’s an element of sexiness in their manner that sometimes makes them irresistible, even slightly porkable, if you will. Oh, yes, we the people are a horny lot, and while we may not have a thorough knowledge of history and politics, we certainly understand a fine piece of tail when we see one. Sure, Martha Washington didn’t really get us off to an ideal start, yet by the time Angelica Van Buren came around, things were starting to look up. And by things, we of course, mean our collective dicks. Whether they welcomed the role or not, some First Ladies essentially became patriotic pinup models, democratic sex symbols that would have red-blooded perverts all over the nation standing at attention, proclaiming, “Hail to those cheeks!”
There’s no arguing that some of America’s early First Ladies might not have quite risen to the status of boner bait. By the turn of the 20th century, however, the role of First Lady was being embodied by a healthier, shapelier and more attractive specimen of American femininity. And with that, legions of young men who had been flying half-mast since catching a glimpse of, say, Ida McKinley were suddenly going full-staff for the President’s wife.
“A younger Hillary was super-hot. Hotter, I think, than Kennedy’s wife—and much, much sexier than her predecessor, Barbara Bush.”
