Meet the Goonettes: Girlverts who celebrate porn and perversion without shame or restraint.
Porn is life. That may seem a bit extreme to the casual viewer, but for gooners, it is an axiom that binds together a community dedicated to judgment-free expression and the exploration of sexuality, identity and desire.
First, let’s take a giant step back and define our terms. Gooning is a primarily internet-based subculture that worships porn. Calling gooners “porn addicts” is both inaccurate and woefully myopic; addiction implies a dependency, whereas gooning is a next-level lifestyle, a choice. It is devotion akin to religion.
Just as Christianity has its commandments, so does gooning: Pump harder. Sink deeper. Surrender to porn. These are the mantras (typically conveyed in meme form) of a gleeful generation that rejects Puritanism for the dayglow dreamworld of endless pleasure. Porn is God—praise unto porn!
Though it’s a predominantly male-driven movement, women are growing the ranks in not insignificant numbers—hardly a surprise when you consider that over 60% of women consume some form of porn on the regular (Journal of Sex, 2020). Known as goonettes, their appetite for filth and perversion is unmatched. To “become porn” is goonette transmutation.
Goonettes embrace their porno-sexuality with abandon and without the slightest regard for social convention. They are unapologetically extra. Who are these decadent libertines of the digital era, and how did they find their divine calling as the undisputed titans of porn-fueled fun? Open your mind and get dumb for goonettes.
FATASS_GOONETTE
A feral sex fiend of Scottish descent, FatAss_Goonette is a queen anointed by the porn gods themselves and is girlfriend to The Porn Messiah— another celebrity in the gooner universe. It was a lonely road to finding her people, but long and hard is the way that leads to light. Porn personified, a human Fleshlight fulfills her destiny.
