Suffering from insomnia? Never mind the sleep aids at the pharmacy, we have a much sexier way for you to get some solid shut-eye…
In the wee hours of the night, while the rest of the world is tucked away safe and sound, dreaming about roses and rainbows, there’s another group out there–men and women alike–who can’t get any sleep to save their fucking lives. Their minds are too busy reminding them of that big project that has to be turned around in the next couple of days, the appointment tomorrow afternoon, the logistics issues of giving a giraffe CPR and a million other nonsensical blemishes on our night brains that keep us from getting some solid sack time. Many of us try to combat this restless affliction by grabbing a snack from the kitchen, scanning the many streaming services for a Hitchcock film or maybe just sitting at the computer trying to finish another article. But what we really should be doing, according to a new study, is bumping uglies.
Researchers at Atrium Health in Charlotte, North Carolina, have concluded that sex is just as effective for achieving slumber as an over-the-counter sleep aid. Rather than popping pills in pursuit of rest, all insomniacs have to do is pop that ass right before plopping their heads on a pillow and, if the study holds weight, they will sleep as well as those who are reduced to snorting Benadryl. This is great news for the 70 million Americans who suffer from sleep disorders such as short-term and chronic insomnia. All that is required is a little slap and tickle, and sweet dreams will surely follow.
Unfortunately, with the sleep aid market worth around $60 billion, it is painfully evident that more people are using pharmaceuticals than they are banging their way to bedtime.
