Thinking of sending a dick pic to that woman you’re interested in? First off, get her permission first! Secondly, put some effort into it! We present a handy guide to becoming the Ansel Adams of schlong-centric selfies.
According to research, roughly 50% of women have received a dick pic—which makes sense, considering the same research indicates that around 50% of men admit to sending one. That means there’s a slew of dudes out there sending out snapshots of their wieners.
These guys have, somewhere along the way, been led to believe that texting their testicles is the latest mating ritual, guaranteed to make the girls swoon as soon as they open the message. Who knows why they do it? Some studies find that the motivation behind the dick pic is just millions of years of evolution failing society. After all, early civilizations of men used to draw their dicks on caves and other structures as a sign of their masculinity. Now that technology has advanced beyond scribbling scrotums into stone, the dick pic is born.
But just because a practice is common—and perhaps even engraved in our DNA on some level—doesn’t make it smart. Sending unsolicited snaps of your schlong to someone is a truly shitty thing that you should never, ever do. If a sense of common decency isn’t enough to deter you from doing so, consider that, depending on the situation, it might even be illegal.
Even the ladies who—from either sheer boredom or legit horniness—have given a man permission to land in her DMs with a boner exposure or two have plenty of complaints. Of those grievances, piss-poor photography is at the top of the list. Many women argue that men are not putting forth their best effort to entice them with the juiciness of their joints. Instead, they’re sending poorly lit, weirdly angled portraits that make their cocks look more like a rare marsupial with rickets than anything they’d like to wrap their lips around. There’s no care taken to set the scene. The background is usually a dirty room littered with beer bottles and pizza boxes, or a bathroom with pubic hairs all over the floor.
