Bits & Pieces

Articles with unfiltered opinions

Cartoons

Illustrated monthly funnies

Jokes

Dirty jokes for your dirty mind

Parodies

Unapologetic political satire

close slideout
Latest HUSTLER Magazine cover issue
Magazine new arrow

May 2024

Featuring Tavia
Join HUSTLER Magazine trial promo image

Intro Offer:
3 days for only $0.99!

Getting Heavy Into Foreplay
Featured Article

Getting Heavy Into Foreplay

A deep, hard look into the question, “What, exactly, is foreplay?”

I was sitting with my laptop on the couch, trying to get a little bit of work done, while my partner texted with me from the bathtub. We weren’t sexting; we were discussing our car. It’s barely hanging on, and we were trying to hurry up and decide on a replacement before this one leaves us stranded on the side of the road.  

Back and forth our messages went: Can we afford certified pre-owned? How important is AWD? Are we planning on keeping it long enough that our kid can drive it down the line? Links, reviews, listings and YouTube videos followed. Finally, he emerged from the bath and sat down next to me on the couch. He looked over my shoulder to see all of the open tabs with cars on my laptop screen. I could feel his breath, his thigh pressed against mine.

I set my computer down on the couch next to me, looked him in the eye to be sure he knew what I wanted, and straddled his lap. He ran his hands up my thighs under my dress until he got high enough to realize I wasn’t wearing any panties. “Naughty,” he whispered in my ear. 

He pushed me off his lap so that I was laying on my back on the couch in front of him, opened my laptop back up again, and told me in a commanding voice that made me wet to keep looking. He pushed my dress up, spread my knees apart and buried his head between my legs. I scrolled through car listings, occasionally commenting, until I got so distracted that I came. He kissed me, closed my laptop and got down to seriously sexy business. 

Perhaps it seems odd to start an article on foreplay with an anecdote about used cars. But this is the true story of what unfolded when I was supposed to be writing this article: I got overwhelmed by car choices, and then by desire. Both led to hotter and more connected sex than we’ve had in a while. The question is, why?

To Access the Full Story

Unlock all articles, full galleries and digital magazines – 3 days for only $1.35.