Examining the rules that people establish for having sex, from the somewhat odd to the downright bizarre.
When the cosmic architects first cooked up this sex thing to keep their little alien ant farm nice and populated, they designed it so every creature—no matter how evolved—could tap straight into their inner beast. The plan was to let ’em go fully wild during sexy time without a single hangup or rule in sight. Then advanced human civilization emerged and promptly screwed that up. Because even though sex is meant to be a glorious, no-holds-barred free-for-all, some folks insist on dragging a set of boning bylaws into bed that’s roughly the length of a CVS receipt. Suddenly, their partners can’t do this or that for reasons that defy the fundamentals of getting it on, and if any of those sacred boundaries are crossed—accidentally or otherwise—the whole mood collapses like a Jenga tower.
“I dated a guy that didn’t want any eye contact. He said it made things too emotional, and he didn’t want that kind of commitment too early.”
Jasmine
Some people can’t get out of their way long enough to enjoy the deepest depths of sex. It’s not even their fault. It’s just that sometimes the brains we’re stuck with refuse to unclench long enough to let our freak flag fly. So it’s no surprise that most of us will eventually meet those who demand “no kissing” during sex, or those who profess that “nipples are off-limits” and those borderline conspiracy theorists who believe they have to keep their socks on or they’ll never have an orgasm. These O-face ordinances are so common by this point that it’d be more shocking not to run into someone with a sexual rulebook that reads like a manual of OSHA regulations.
