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Latest HUSTLER Magazine cover issue
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December 2024

Featuring Ellie Nova
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Bad Vibrations?
Featured Article

Bad Vibrations?

A lot of men take it personally when their partner can’t get off without the aid of a vibrator. Here’s why they shouldn’t.

Many a man has found himself perplexed when, mid-fuck, the woman he’s banging abruptly introduces a motorized sex toy into the equation. There he is, pumping away on a first-class piece of tail that he just met at church of all places, and this guy, knowing a good thing when he slides his pecker into one, is hell-bent on making a damn good impression, even if that causes him to sustain a mild stroke and a sprained pelvis. The woman seems to be enjoying herself too. There are oohs, ahhs, damns and fucks emanating from her mouth, and at times she spouts incomprehensible gibberish that could only be translated by an Appalachian mountain man fluent in goat. Baaa! It is readily apparent that this man’s mission to bring such a fine specimen of womanhood to the climax of her life is well within reach. It’s just a matter of time now before she… wait. 

Suddenly and without warning, the woman reaches into her nightstand, whips out a vibrator and takes over the show. The man, perplexed as to why his fervent dong-slinging display was interrupted to bring in a faux phallus, flashes her a confused look as if to say, “Hey lady, what gives?”

“Oh, I never come without my vibrator,” she explains. “It’s impossible for me to orgasm without one.”

“I’ve never been able to orgasm without using my vibrator.”

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