Have things been a little icy in the bedroom between you and your lady lately? You might want to add some sexual preheating to your relationship.
There’s a special kind of panic that hits a man when he’s lying next to his girl and his dick starts making plans to conquer that cooter before calling it a night. Just as he’s gearing up to make a move, bam—his pecker’s plan gets foiled. She might yawn, grab a book or start scrolling through her phone, a sign that she’s not all that interested in getting defiled into the midnight hour. Rather than persisting, he aborts the mission and retreats to his side of the bed like a defeated soldier, pants still on and dreams crushed.
We’ve all been there. And sadly, we’ve all been dead-wrong.
Contrary to what a man’s horny little caveman brain might be screaming in the moment, his woman’s reaction to his sexual advances isn’t rejection, it’s just redirection. Just because she’s not tearing your clothes off doesn’t mean she’s not down to pound; it just means she hasn’t been properly preheated. Sex, as much as the skin flicks might portray, isn’t always an on-demand experience—especially if you’ve skipped all the teasing, touching and talking that gets her head in the game. So instead of going spread-eagle as soon as she lies down, she starts powering down for the night, settling in for sleep while you’re lying there wondering if you’re ever going to get laid again. Isaac, 29, of Indiana, is currently living in this conundrum. “My girlfriend and I have been on a dry spell for at least a month,” he tells HUSTLERMagazine.com. “We have odd schedules, so it just never seems to work.”
Listen up, Isaac—that’s where the art of preheating comes in. It’s the slow-burn foreplay that starts before you hit the sheets, and we mean well before. Those subtle touches during dinner, the flirty comments while she’s getting ready, that random ass-slap while she’s bent over a pile of laundry looking for a shirt to wear. It’s about stoking the fire early so that, by the time bedtime rolls around, she’s not thinking about her to-do list for the next day, she’s thinking about entertaining your dick, in and around all of her agreeable orifices.
