Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
An all-holes, no-poles exploration of female- on-female desire, Girlfriends splits the difference between feature-film ambitions and porn-flick carnality. Unfortunately, while the splits on display here are pretty enticing, the jackoff-all-trades approach might lead to a masturbation of none. The basic premise: A novice clamlapper played by Casey Calvert gets dumped by her girlfriend because she can’t fully commit to lesbianism. Dejected—and rejected by her religious parents—Calvert travels to California to visit to her gal pal (Scarlet Red), who has an unrecognized desire for Calvert. In the free-wheeling Golden State, Calvert learns to embrace her dykery, while Red’s character struggles to embrace her attraction to Calvert. If that sounds a tad involved, therein lies the central problem with Girlfriends. The dialogue is solid enough, but the middle-school-level acting can’t convincingly put it across, and after fast-forwarding through fluffery, the viewer’s hand might be a bit too weary to work up a decent boner. That said, watching halfdevil, half-angel brunette Calvert mash gash isn’t the worst way to spend some free time, and seeing her pristine asshole speared by another chick’s tongue while she’s fingered to oblivion is definitely worthwhile. If you’re trying to convince your girlfriend to watch porn, this will probably do the trick. Then again, if you have to convince your girlfriend to watch porn, you should probably find another girlfriend. Girlfriends is wrapped with beautiful paper and ribbons, but the box itself feels a little light. —Pico D. Ribibi
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