Dark & Dirty

Monday morning porn meeting: The boss asks, “Anybody got any ideas?” Silence, somebody snores, and then some dude says, “Let’s get a bunch of brunettes and fuck ’em in a back alley someplace.” Another dude says, “Dude, awesome.” Time for lunch. Yep, that’s why they get the big bucks. Turns out it was a solid idea to get back to basics—and to kick off Dark & Dirty with the baby fat of Brooke Lee Adams. If more trash-dump couches had cuties like her, we’d all be alley rats. Megan Vaughn sits her black tail on some white dick for a while in a decent interlude, but skin-and-bones Zoe Voss is the real freak show, with two guys taking turns splitting her up the middle. This is notable as one of the last scenes Zoe did before wrecking her flat-chest charm with a boobjob. When will these chicks learn that their self-esteem problems are not ours? Anyway, for every girl with tiny titties, another one’s swinging huge knockers. Cue Isis Love and finale honey April O’Neil. Both roll out bouncy scenes to wrap up the disc. April doesn’t even show an ounce of concern that the microbes in that mattress have probably formed a civilization by now. Get this flick so you have something to talk about at your next business meeting. Remember, getting fired is a promotion if your job sucks!