Olaf Swenson, out in his pasture in northern Minnesota, took a quick kick from a cow right to his crotch. Writhing in agony, he fell to the ground. As soon as Olaf could manage, he went to the doctor. “How bad is it, Doc?” he gasped. “I’m getting married next week, and my fiancée, Lena, is still a virgin.”
The doctor told him, “I’ll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week, but leave it on as long as you can.” The doctor then took four tongue depressors, wrapped them around Olaf’s wiener and taped it all together—quite an impressive work of art.