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July 2025

Featuring Elly Clutch
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The Neighborly Lay

Weighing the pros and cons of boning the fucker next door. “Love your neighbor…” — Leviticus 19:18 “Be careful what you wish for…” — Aesop Aside from that annual proctology exam or Pap smear, moving is arguably the most heinously uncomfortable situation that any person, sane or otherwise, can possibly endure. There’s dropping a hefty...

The Couple That Strokes Together…

Getting in touch with the many relationship benefits of mutual masturbation. There are loads of couples in committed relationships right now silently sitting in their respective recliners, watching television, secretly wishing that a giant asteroid would come crashing through the roof and end it all. The romance is long gone, and they’re no longer regularly...

Sex on the Side

Sure, the idea of having a backup boo in addition to your main squeeze might sound great, but be careful—if you don’t go about it the right way, it could lead to hurt feelings and maybe a smashed windshield. While some of us genetically inferior slobs are out there trying like hell to get laid...