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July 2025

Featuring Elly Clutch
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Ember Snow
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Scarlit Scandal
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Category: Feature

Article

Friday Funnies: Clowning on Counseling Vol. 3

Marital discord isn’t funny—it’s hilarious! Don’t believe us? Join us in the marriage counselor’s office for a gut-busting look at relationships in distress, courtesy of HUSTLER’s vast arsenal of hilarious cartoons! “I swear to God, if I ever treated my wife as an object, it was a small bus.” “In my professional opinion, a relationship...
Article

The Incredible Shrinking Manhood

Bad news, guys; hair isn’t the only thing you might lose as you get older. Yes, we’re talking about your dong size, but don’t worry—we have some advice on how to stay hung even when you’re not young. Life plays many cruel jokes on a man over the span of his time on this planet...
Article

How Many Licks?

We tackle the age-old question of just how long you should be spending downtown before moving on to the main fucking act. When we were young and impressionable young whippersnappers with hardly any pubes on our balls, the television told us that it takes precisely three licks to get to the center of a Tootsie...