The Female of the Species

The Female of the Species is an odd breed indeed. Loaded with stylish production values, this Kayden Kross-directed effort splits the difference between would-be Super Bowl commercial and standard fuck flick, with boner-confusing left turns tossed in for puzzling measure. The video kicks off with various views of the Los Angeles cityscape as a brother drags a weathered brunette home. Lighting and camera tricks abound as the lens reveals that the brunette is packing a piece. The viewer wonders, Is this a crime drama with tits? Apparently not, as the gun is rapidly set aside along with the brunette’s panties. The scene does the job: The guy’s prick extends like a third arm from his groin, and as she bounces on his dusky pole, it looks like her pussy is swallowing a pogo stick. The next scene features yet another abandoned potential plot, as champagne-sipping sexpot Nicole Aniston, her lips inflated like a life raft, meets with some dude to sign estate papers. Why we don’t learn. Aniston shoos away the trust administrator to hoover on a man servant’s prong with her overblown mouth. Again, a perfectly serviceable scene, but why bother with the plot setup if it’s just going to be flushed like used ass-wipe? Things conclude with a weird tack-on scene that’s introduced in vaudevillian fashion and presented in a surreal manner that’s like a cross between The Bachelor and Frank Zappa’s 200 Motels. If it wants to drive your climax home,  The Female of the Species should pick a lane and stay in it. —P.D.R