Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
Scandal siren Michelle Bombshell’s long-awaited sex tape (without Jesse James) has more tattoos in it than the frickin’ Pequod. Costar Emily Parker, who actually portrayed Bombshell in the HUSTLER’s Untrue Hollywood Stories: Jesse James parody, is an illustrated wonder in her own right. Ditto the anonymous dick that looks like a random biker. (Who did you expect, the director of the Anti-Defamation League?) Michelle’s a beginner when it comes to onscreen fucking, but what she lacks in passion she makes up for in playfulness and sheer eye candy. The twice-augmented rack is impressive, and she turns out to have a great ass, nicely accented with full-cheek flower-blossom tats. And yes, there’s a Nazi-style eagle above her cunt, apparently covering an old swastika. (Check out our Day in the Life profile of Michelle on page 36 for more tattoo details.) Watching Bombshell from the angle her celebrity cocksmen saw her most often is good fun, but her giggly bathtub party and mutual lick-off with gal pal Emily Parker is more endearing. (Apparently, she couldn’t get Sandra Bullock for this.) If you were hoping for some sick Eva Braun role-play, you’ll be disappointed. But if you just wanted to stroke it to a walking comic book with big bazongas, Michelle’s your Trophy Girl (as her torso tat proudly proclaims).
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