Lesbian Art of Seduction

Funding for the arts is once again imperiled, thanks to a certain Cheeto-skinned megalomaniac who somehow blustered his way into the highest office in the land. Thankfully, the private sector has stepped in to fill the void with Lesbian Art of Seduction, a treatise on how females lure females into the world of sapphic bliss. It’s an important skill: If Donald Trump’s mother had taken a liking to snatch, she might not have birthed a butter-dull narcissist who is now leader of the free world despite the fact that he’s probably unable to lead his pinky-dick to his gold-plated toilet bowl for a well-aimed piss. Okay, enough venting. On to the matter at hand. MILFy blonde Jeanie Marie Sullivan plays an older, worldly photographer tasked with shooting Bettie Page wannabe Marie McCray. With her brickshithouse build, Sullivan plays the part of alpha-bitch to the hilt. Watching Sullivan fast-talk McCray out of her top before pouncing on her and licking her face is like watching a lioness toy with a gazelle before going in for the kill. The MVP of this video, however, is Summer Day, a too-pretty-for-porn blonde who consoles Norah Nova, her greyhound-thin girlfriend who’s just been dumped by her boyfriend. Day fills the void in Nova’s life with a double-ended dildo. Lesbian Art of Seduction  might focus on girl-girl action, but there are lessons to be learned here for guys too. Take notes…with the free hand that isn’t busy strangling your crotchweasel. Call 800-763-8271 ext. 7675 or visit HustlerStore.com to order. —Pico D. Ribibi