Godfather XXX

It’s official. No cinematic masterpiece is safe from the porn-parody onslaught. This deadpan spoof is funnier than most, with Dong Vito Whoreleone the head of a dirty-movie empire looking to rub out the competition. That means a lot of porn in-jokes, like when the wiseguy wakes up with a whore’s head in his bed. Get it? The whore in question turns out to be Jessie Andrews, who has more screen presence than a machine gun and fucks like every day is her last. While the Dong (played with aplomb by Peter O’Tool, one of the fattest men in smut) hands out wisdom about aging pussy, his horndog sons are busy cum-spattering the likes of topheavy blondes Bridgette B. and Kagney Linn Karter. All the talent is top-notch, particularly April O’Neil as the hottest Italian sausage grinder this side of Little Sicily and Tommy Pistol as Michael. Godfather XXX is what a parody is supposed to be: hot, hilarious and a decent homage at the same time. If only Brando were alive to say this: They made you a porno you can’t refuse.