Fuck the French

Part travelogue, part porn flick, Fuck the French finds froggy sperm-slinger Manuel Ferrara launching a brutal carnal campaign through his homeland, bombing trenches with his cum cannon. When he’s not drilling a succession of hungry young cockhounds, Ferrara gives viewers a tour of landmarks such as the Eiffel Tower and the Arc de Triomphe (Paris Tourism Bureau, take note: You may have found your next spokesman). But it’s the hills and valleys of Ferrara’s scum targets that offer the most gratifying views. Cute Russian blonde Lucy Heart sports a dimpled chin and perfect tits shaped like the teardrops that surely ran down her face after the cameras stopped rolling. Heart expresses a desire for Ferrara to get rough while he fucks her, and Ferrara, ever the sexual pugilist, is happy to comply, wringing her tit while filleting her snapper and decimating her bunghole. Further on, Ferrara gnaws on Heart’s ear in a sexually charged reenactment of the Tyson-Holyfield bout. If only the French had been as assertive when confronted by the Germans during World War II. Ferrara is similarly indelicate with Rose Valerie, the next target of his blood-swollen baguette, spanking the dirty blonde’s drum-tight ass and choking her while putting her through her sexual paces. Brunet fuck-puppet Cara Saint-Germain’s goofy demeanor suggests a childhood diet of lead paint chips, but her jaw-dropping dairy domes will leave viewers drooling semen from their laps anyway. Fuck the French will have you waving the white flag—or at least swiping a tissue across your crotch—by the time it’s over. —P.D.R.