Mike Huckabee sees the world through the lens of a bizarre horror flick. Demons are everywhere, tempting him with buckets of deep-fried sin that only he and his band of white, male Christian warriors have the strength to resist. Some days the demons are whiny liberals who want equal rights for everyone. Other days they’re sex obsessed gargoyles with enormous gay erections. Sometimes they’re just women. “Get away, Satan!” Huck cries as he flees to his Fox News studio, where reality never intrudes. In his world, facts don’t matter.
Case in point: Huck’s support of fast-food chain Chick-fil-A’s anti-gay-marriage stance was to call for a face-stuffing “appreciation day.” The dumb cluck claimed it was based on free speech, not gay-bashing. But if the First Amendment is so dear to him, why has he voiced contempt for the very document that protects it?
“I believe it’s a lot easier to change the Constitution than it would be to change the word of the living God,” Huckabee has said. “And that’s what we need to do—to amend the Constitution so it’s in God’s standards rather than try to change God’s standards so it lines up with some contemporary view.”
That diabolical statement is nothing less than a call for theocratic rule. Make no mistake, Huck’s PR shenanigans like the Chick-fil-A brain fart are just a sideshow. His real agenda is much more bloated.
Evangelicals are not what you’d call prodemocracy, free-speech folks. They dream of a thousand-year dictatorship under a zombie- Jesus. Knowing that’s not likely to happen, they’ll settle for the next best thing: religious fascism. It should be obvious to everyone— even an evolutionary mistake like Mike Huckabee— that no self-respecting theocracy would ever tolerate the First Amendment.