Richard Patterson, 65, was recently acquitted of second-degree murder after trial arguments pointed to the fact that his partner’s death was an accident—poor woman might have choked on his prick. Where else could this craziness have happened but in Florida (birthplace of bath-salt abuse). After all, the Sunshine State let Casey Anthony free. The real question is, did he finish? Did he know she was dead when he came? Part of the prosecutor’s argument for murder was that the man didn’t call 911 right away. Obviously this is a sad story—a woman died and all that— still, the case is ridiculous on so many levels. Focus on this fact: The defendant offered to show the jury a photo of his fuckstick as evidence. As evidence. Which means he believed his poker was huge enough to choke his lover, huge enough to be a deadly weapon. Instead, the judge went with the medical examiner’s testimony that “accidental death by big cock” was a possible possibility. Normally, a man accused of murder might find it difficult to get a date, but in this instance the trial was likely an advertisement of sorts for Richard aka Dick.
