A Real Dick Move
In the comedy classic Anchorman (2004), Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell) returns home after a party only to find out that his faithful dog, Baxter, has eaten an entire wheel of cheese. “How’d you do that?” he asked, astonished by this feat. “I’m not even mad. That’s amazing.” His complete lack of surprise, coupled with sincere respect, is more or less how we feel now when someone does something bat-shit crazy in Florida and it makes the news.
When we last checked in on the Sunshine State, female inmates were attempting to smuggle small-caliber firearms into prison (spoiler alert: it didn’t go well). This month we bring you the epic fable, “I Swear Officer, Those Aren’t My Drugs Strapped to My Penis.”