Bits & Pieces

Articles with unfiltered opinions


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July 2024

Patriotism = Free Speech
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HUSTLER Honey Simi
Vital Facts
  • Hometown Korycany, Czech Republic
  • Age 20
  • Horoscope Cancer
  • Height 5-6

About Simi

“I’m glad you called me now and not 15 minutes ago,” Simi gushes, “because I never answer the phone when I’m screwing!” Asked to talk about her sex life, the Czech newbie admits, “I’m a lot like a guy: I need it all the time. The best day I ever had was when this amazing guy did me again and again, and I came eight times in a row!”

Being this horny does have a downside. “Guys just can’t seem to keep up with me,” Simi sighs. “It takes a special man to satisfy me. Sadly, most of the men I meet don’t last or stick around. Maybe that’s why I’m always looking for a boyfriend. It’s okay. I’d rather masturbate than have sex with a two-minute man.”

How did the busty brunette end up in our magazine? Simi chuckles, then exclaims, “I have no idea! But I love having the opportunity to model in America part-time. It’s very exciting to fly into Los Angeles and do photo-shoots. I feel like a real jet-setter! Growing up, I was a bit of an ugly duckling, all gangly, clumsy and shy. Then a few years ago I realized I looked good naked and wanted to share that with the world. Things move so fast here. One day I’m answering an ad in a newspaper, and now I’m in HUSTLER! I can’t wait to see what’s next!”

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