Bits & Pieces

Articles with unfiltered opinions


Illustrated monthly funnies


Dirty jokes for your dirty mind


Unapologetic political satire

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May 2024

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HUSTLER Honey Evelyn Lory & Mili Jay

About Evelyn Lory & Mili Jay


Okay, guys, here’s your chance to write for HUSTLER. Choose from these multiple-choice responses and create your own sexual fantasy.

Evelyn and Mili are:

a) lonely coeds
b) KPFK radio show hosts
c) nuns
d) really, really dirty

They both wind up naked in a shower at:

a) the YMCA
b) Jerry Falwell’s Bible camp
c) HUSTLER headquarters
d) the home of O.J. Simpson

As the two start exploring each other’s hot bod, Mili says to Evelyn:

a) “Mind if I put my finger in your wet pussy?”
b) “I think Jessica Simpson is a good actress.”
c) “Nietzsche was right when he said there are no facts, only interpretations.”
d) “Can you believe some guy is jerking off to us right now?”

After many hours of sucking and fucking, the two:

a) grab some more lube and start going at it all over again
b) sue each other for breach of contract
c) discuss the steps it would take to indict Karl Rove
d) realize they still haven’t showered together

The concept of fill-in-the-blanks girl copy is:

a) mildly humorous
b) pathetic in every way
c) a sure sign that the editors are brain-dead
d) all of the above

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