Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
Prefer your buns buttered up and drilled to perfection? Wet Asses Vol. 5 will hit the spot. This isn’t a high-concept offering by a long shot—the biggest production cost was probably the oil that they copiously slathered over the actresses’ nates—but the viewer’s prick will twitch like a divining rod in a waterfall anyway. The video wisely kicks off with its most boner-inducing vixen, Latina sexpot Isabella De Santos, whose proudly jutting glutes quiver with delight as they’re basted with oil. A mohawked goon pierces her glistening gash and humps her doggy-style as she babbles in Spanglish. She feverishly bounces her ass against his loins, each contact landing with a lovely thwap. De Santos is eventually so greasy that she threatens to slide off the leather couch as her gleaming rump is vigorously drubbed until she’s literally fucked cross-eyed. The rest of the females are mostly mid-grade, but there are a few additional thrills to be had—tattooed tart Kelsi Monroe for one, who reaches a screeching assgasm, filling her pussy with four fingers as her shitpit is packed with schlong. The less said about Abella Danger, whose lips look like they lost a bet with Botox, the better. Still, despite its flaws, Wet Asses Vol. 5 produces an oil spill that even Greenpeace would approve of. —P.D.R.
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