Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
Since her marriage broke up, Victoria (Vanessa Cage) had been sulking around her rich parents’ house. She spent her days eating deepfried candy bars, watching German expressionist movies and masturbating constantly. Eventually her folks got sick of her wallowing and signed their disconsolate daughter up for a gym membership.
Victoria was immediately smitten with her workout coach, Brian (Bill Bailey ). Within five minutes of starting her fitness routine, she felt her nether region moistening with desire.
“What part of your body do you wanna work on first?” Brian asked.
“I’m insanely horny,” Victoria replied, “and I’ve been jerking off to The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari for the past three weeks. Brian, I want you to focus entirely on my vagina. Fucking is considered exercise, isn’t it?”
Brian had no objections to her proposal. From that day on, Victoria’s depression lifted dramatically. And much to her parents’ delight, she never skipped a gym session.
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